Posted by: kerryalina | 11 March 2012

Challenge Class 24: Tired

Week Four of my challenge is over.  It started with special diets and fasting; upset routines and medical tests.  It ended with fire drills, unplanned (unwanted) sleep-ins and muscle cramps.  I’m tired – it seems like I’ve spent all my free time this week napping and yet it hasn’t even touched the level of exhaustion I’m experiencing.  My muscles are tired – I walked two blocks to my studio today and my legs were a breath away from collapsing under me.  My brain is tired – tired of organising my life around class, tired of forcing myself out the door when all I want to do is curl up on the couch and cry.

Just.  So.  Tired.

I walked to class today and was already planning today’s blog post.  About how awful class was, about how my limbs felt like jelly, about how I felt nauseous, about how if I wasn’t doing a challenge, today would be a day I just stayed home.  About how that still might be the better option.  All before I’d even walked into the studio.

It took me until Eagle pose – 30 minutes into class – to realise that, contrary to expectations, I was doing just fine.  No nausea.  No exhaustion.  No wobbly legs.  No hating the world and the teacher and OMG CAN YOU JUST OPEN THE DOOR AND LET ME BREATHE RIGHT NOW PLEASE.  Just a normal, everyday, Bikram class.  And when I finished… I wasn’t anywhere near as tired as when I walked in.

This keeps happening; I don’t know why it takes me by surprise every time.  I head into class “knowing” it’s going to be horrible… and it’s not.  I have a million reasons (excuses) to skip class, but not of them actually affects me once I’m in the hot room.  I’m not saying I never have bad classes – even in the short history of this blog, I’ve had my share – but they’re never the ones I sit at home and dread beforehand.  And the classes that I expect to be awful?  They’re the ones that help the most.

So, Week Four is over.  What I’m coming to realise is this: It’s called a challenge for a reason.  It’s hard.  But the one thing that makes it bearable?

That, paradoxically, is the yoga.

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