Challenge Class 45: Inner Thoughts

Pranayama

First set, first breath
Yay, it’s starting!

First set, all subsequent breaths
Oh god, why am I here?  What on earth was I thinking?  It’s not too late to leave, right???

Half Moon

Right side
Wheeeeeee look at me go!

Left side
I don’t think my left side is attached properly :\

Backbend
Alrighty, let’s do this thing.  (Followed by one of)
a) YAY I CAN SEE MY MAT; or
b) …this isn’t good.  I’m not actually backbending at all, am I?  In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m bending forward.  WTF is going on here, body?

Hands to Feet

Shimmy shimmy shimmy… okay, now hips LIFT.  I said LIFT.  LIFT!
…Fine.  Stay there then.  See if I care.

Awkward

Part 1
Sit down… and go back, fall back, waaaay ba… wait, change?  You didn’t say waaaay back!  What happened to the waaaay back???  I was saving myself for the waaaay back!!!

Part 2
I can walk in six inch heels.  I got this, baby.  (shortly followed by)
Owowowowow.  NO, TEACHER.  NO.  SHAKING IS NOT GOOD.

Part 3
I am sooooo not bouncing.
Okay, okay, fine.  *bounces grudgingly*
But I REFUSE TO SMILE.

Eagle

Argh, I’m all wonky.  Must… line… everything… up… *falls over*

Party Time

Hey, teacher.  If I look pathetic and stare longingly at the door, will you take the hint and open it?  Please?  Please???
No?  Damn it.  You’re not my favourite teacher anymore.

Standing Head to Knee

• Lock standing leg, check!
• Kick out, check!
• Lock other leg, check!
• Elbows down, owowow, check! (…maybe)
• Forehead to the knee… Forehead to the knee… Ummmm…
• Wobble and fall over, check!

Standing Bow

This pose is so pretty, but I could really do with a rest right about now.  I bet if I wasn’t so tired, I’d be kicking ass instead of falling over five million times.  Although if I was concentrating on the pose instead of complaining to myself, that would probably help too.  Okay, FOCUS.
…ow, I think I just pulled a muscle.  *sigh*

Balancing Stick

Maybe if I pretend to faint, they’ll let me leave the room???
Oh who am I kidding; they totally wouldn’t.
(Note: I have crazy low blood pressure and did actually faint/collapse in Balancing Stick once.  The teacher checked I was okay, got me some electrolytes, talked calmly and soothingly to me… and kept me in the room.  Dammit).

Standing Separate Leg Stretching

Okay… so I can get my forehead to the floor.  OR I can get my elbows touching my legs.  I can’t do both.
So I’m just going to hang out and relax upside down for a little while here.  NO-ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

Triangle

owowowow LOOK AT ME GO owowowowow.

Standing Separate Leg Head to Knee

My left hip is up.  THIS IS AS “UP” AS IT GETS.
Oh wait.  That’s my right hip.  Carry on.

Tree

WHY can I never do Tree left side?

Toe Stand

Contract and lift and contract and lift and come UP… YAY!!!  *falls over*

Savasana

Oh thank god.

Wind Removing

Ummmm… I hope this doesn’t have the result its name implies.

Sit-up

Wheeeeee!
(Throughout the floor series, this slowly changes to: “Just five more minutes in Savasana, pleeeeease?”)

Cobra

Are my hands in the right spot?  I think they need to be further up… wait, no.  Further down.  And in.  And rotated slightly 2.7 degrees counter-clockwise.  And my shoulders should be… whoops, pose is nearly over.

Locust

Hey Bikram, don’t locusts only appear once every seven years?  And then we try to exterminate them?
Do you think we could try that with this pose?

Full Locust

This one is actually kind of fun, though.  Hey Bikram, just exterminate the wingless locusts, k?  They’re probably easier to catch anyway.

Bow

I LOVE BIKRAM YOGA.

Fixed Firm

Lalalala.

Half-Tortoise

I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible to touch my fingertips to the floor first and have my hips on my heels.  Except I’ve seen people do it.  Huh.
Only explanation: it must be witchcraft.

Camel

HI FEETS!

Rabbit

I have nooooo idea what I’m doing.

Head to Knee with Stretching

I was so much better at this yesterday.
(Note: I think this every day.  And yet I’ve improved over time.  I have no idea how that would even be possible).

Spine Twist

Ummmm… how should my flat leg go?  Should the knee be pointing straight in front of my centreline?  Or in line with my hip?  Or be in some sort of scalene triangle arrangement?  Perhaps one involving six dimensions?
Ugh, I give up.  Stop fussing with the knee and twiiiiiist!

Blowing in Firm

Hahahaha my stomach looks hilarious.  Look at it go!!!

Final Savasana

…can has more yoga?
Oh wait, should be meditating.
……………………………
I really want a Sunny Boy when I get home.
Shhhhh brain, I’m meditating.
I know, I’m just saying.  A Sunny Boy would be pretty great right now.
……………………………
Pssssst… can has more yoga? :D