Posted by: kerryalina | 16 April 2012

Challenge Class 54: HAMMER

I hated class today.  I don’t mean that  it was especially hard, or that I felt ill or dizzy.  I mean I hated it.  I spent the whole time wishing class was a physical thing, so I could kill it slowly and painfully.  I’d even decided on a method.


(I swear I’m not a serial killer in real life)

I’d had a bad start to the day and walked into class already resentful, my brain full of sullen thoughts.  “I’ve already finished my challenge, dammit.  And my shoulder is injured again.  And it’s an utterly gorgeous day, I don’t want to be stuck in a hot room.  PLUS I’m sleepy and I don’t have time to hang out my washing before class and I’ll be late meeting friends for dinner after class and I’ll have to come home after dinner and a movie and then hang out all my laundry and put the sheets on the bed before I get to go to sleep and omg I still have to blog and WHY am I doing this again???”

But even with all these thoughts, I hadn’t realised just how much anger was swirling around in my brain today until I was sitting there during Triangle pose, imagining taking my class and SMASHING IT WITH A HAMMER.  And then once I realised how angry I was… I got angry at the yoga.  Because, you know, that’s a totally rational response.  “Isn’t yoga supposed to help with this shit?  More zen; less hammer???  COME ON YOGA, DO YOUR JOB.”

But the thing about Bikram is this: You only get out what you put in.  Today I basically showed up and did a few lacklustre poses while sitting down a bunch of times so I could fume about how I wanted to be anywhere else but the studio.  And you know what?  That’s like showing up to uni lectures and staring out the window the whole time, then wondering why you haven’t learnt anything.

Yoga might be a panacea, but it’s not magic.  You still have to put the effort in if you want the benefits.  And that’s something I might need to focus on the next time I start thinking about hammers.

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Responses

  1. I freaking LOVED this post! “More zen? Less Hammer?” bahahahaa! As a yoga teacher I love it when I see my students really grouchy on their mats and bringing all their shit, and dumping it. YOU SHOWED UP. You didn’t take a pass. Totally honorable. Namaste.

    • Now I totally want a t-shirt that says “YOGA: More zen, less hammer.” ;)

  2. I’ve had classes like that…


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