Fructose Malabsorption, Redux

(Today’s super-exciting story is not at all related to Bikram.  For your daily yoga fix, you should totally check out one of my all-time favourite posts at Yoga Badassery and marvel at the world’s best Bikram illustrations).

The upcoming 30 day challenge isn’t just about Bikram… it’s also about completely overhauling the way I eat.  (Don’t worry, I swear this isn’t about to become a diet or weightloss blog!)

Readers who haven’t managed to repress the memory will unfortunately remember that at the start of my 60 day challenge I was having some super-crazy stomach pains.  (Sorry for subjecting you all to that story).  Others may remember that a few weeks later, I got my test results back and was slightly… distraught… to discover the pains were due to my inability to digest fructose.  Which, as I quickly discovered, is in pretty much everything even remotely healthy.  Nutella’s just fine… but apples are out the window.  It’s like all my childhood dreams come true!  Unfortunately, it’s proving slightly less fun in reality.

Following an appointment with a dietitian last week, I now know what foods I should definitely steer clear of (everything) and which are safe to eat (…small pebbles?).  I bought some recipe books that she recommended and have been cooking and freezing big batches of… gloopy stuff… for work lunches.  Btw, “gloopy stuff” is being generous – there is a reason most dietitians are not world-renowned chefs.   I’ve already forgotten my lunch more than once, though… probably due to my taste-buds taking control of my actions in self-defence… and as a result, I tend to spend my lunch hour wandering around the city in tears, trying desperately to find something to eat that’s on my “safe” list.  (Hint: nothing).  I still don’t have any idea what to do when I eat out and as a major foodie, this has always been a huge part of my life.  But I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it?  Maybe?

At least now I know what the rules are and in that respect I’m glad I met with the dietitian… kind of.  It was great to meet with someone who was friendly, reassuring and qualified – especially as she’s super-involved in fructose research and very up-to-date with recent findings.  On the other hand… for a $140 consultation, I would have expected more than a Powerpoint display of how fructose is digested (or not, as the case may be) and a black-and-white booklet listing the foods to avoid.  How do I stay healthy while avoiding fruit?  How do I balance my diet when I can eat chocolate but not my favourite vegetables?  How do I recognise and dodge problem foods on restaurant menus?  I don’t have a bloody clue.  In terms of giving me the tools to actually live with this diet, the consultation was a bit of a flop.

So just in case there’s anyone else out there with possible fructose malabsorption (or IBS, which has the same treatment/diet) who’s unable or unwilling to invest the money in breath tests and dietitian appointments (and honestly, my advice would be that they’re just not worth the money)… here’s my super handy fructose-friendly FODMAP eating guide.  It’s a summary of everything from my dietitian’s handout and the resources she recommended I buy, so unlike most information available online, it’s guaranteed current and accurate.  Hopefully there’ll be someone out there who’ll find it useful… or use it to offer me appropriate and non-gloop recipes ;)

kerryalina's Super-Fun FODMAP Guide - Grains & Vegetables

kerryalina's Super-Fun FODMAP Guide - Fruit & Other Stuff